Pants 0. Shit 1.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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