So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
