Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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