Im at strip club and am horny
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
