I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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