you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
