but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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