he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize