i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
