Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
