i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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