Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Couch. On fire.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
