he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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