dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
