6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
he shaved USA in his pubs
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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