I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
