If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Randomize
