Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
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