She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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