He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
