how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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