I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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