You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
