Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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