Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
