Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
