69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
