As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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