she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
