What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Plan B is the new Plan A
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
The Olympian is in my bed
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
