your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
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