I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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