Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
