He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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