I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
