Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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