This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
