the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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