This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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