You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
