I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
