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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
