I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
