There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
