btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
