i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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