it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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