I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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