I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Randomize
