i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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